Sunny California

So we just moved back to San Francisco after 7 years back and forth between Paris and Italy. Bittersweet. Especially after a challenging month of "transition" in Italy which was meant to be "relaxing" but began with Bebe getting hit by a car and ended with me being seriously ill for weeks. Fun. We landed in SF exactly as we had NOT meant to - feeling like we were refugees. After all of our planning to return calm and rested. I think this is an impossible task with two small children under any circumstances. On the drive from the airport to my mom's house (where the four of us are crashing as husband and I frantically search for a place to live. Miraculously we got both kids into charter school - an impossible feat - but can't find a place to rent!) - we arrived smack in the midst of Gay Pride. The kids staring out the window at a man strolling down the street wearing a backpack and sandals. And that's all. Welcome to SF! After years of manhandling my kids into "appropriate dress" in Paris ("appropriate" by Paris standards does NOT include my kids' favorite outfits: 1. fairy wings, 2. Dora the Explorer Nightgowns. 3. No pants).

So far things have gone well (minus Bebe's current dislike for the Golden Gate bridge, which we cross every day to go to camp. No idea what her opposition is but every day I hear "OH NO! NOT THE Golden Gate BRIDGE!" with La Petite chiming in chorus "Not the bridge!"

Yesterday, Grandma and I took the kiddos on what was meant to be a kid-friendly outing to see children's theatre. The show was at the Fairfax Community Theatre. Fairfax is the epitome of birckenstock/organic/family friendly/ LIBERAL/"peace" - it's where all those folks still stuck in the 60s venture to live. The home of "peace and love".

So we are in the theatre. The show is horrid. I mean, I have seen a LOT of theatre and i have an extremely high tolerance for anything that keeps my kids entertained, but this was pretty intolerable. Bebe was entranced (I think the Pirate costumes had something to do with that). And La Petite was chattering away, as three year olds do, We tried to keep her voice to a whisper but, as all kids, she had several comments she was just dying to make. After years of shushing kids and trying to keep them quiet and still in Paris, I was relieved to be in a kid friendly, casual atmosphere.

Oh did I mention that there were ten people in the entire audience? So this lady behind me taps me on the shoulder and says "i think it is highly inappropriate that you have brought your daughter. She is disturbing the actors!" It was all I could do not to retort "these actors are so awful I don't think an 8.0 earthquake would disturb them." They all appeared to be walking coma victims. You have to work pretty hard to appear this inanimate while performing on stage.

I couldn't deal with a fight. Or more of the horrible show, so we left. Bebe was disappointed. Surprisingly she had been entranced and now we had to explain why we were leaving.

So we went to feed the ducks at the Palace of Fine Arts. A sure fire hit with the kids and what could go wrong? Feeding the ducks was a regular activity for me growing up.

Bebe recovered from her disappointment, and for the first time seemed to have overcome her fear of the swans. She was proudly tossing them bits of bread when a voice booms over my shoulder "YOU! STOP feeding the ducks! You are making them fat! You are ruining them!"

I turned to see a livid old man, shaking with fury. What is going on here? Bebe was upset and I could tell she was about to start crying. I pulled myself up to my full 5'2" height and told him"Back off buddy! Today we are feeding the ducks!"

What the hell is going on here? I don't eat foie gras. I barely eat meat. I am all for save the planet, the animals, the planets, the air , the water. But for goodness sake since when did it become an act of cruelty to take your kid to feed the damn ducks?

Friendly Bay Area aint as friendly as I thought!