Calm yourself, Calm your kids

Calming your own stress REALLY affects your kids. I've known this for years, of course. But this week it has actually become a reality. I was invited to be part of a spiritual women's circle (almost all moms) and most of the focus was on paying attention to intuition, telling the voices in our heads to shut the f- up! and letting our "higher selves" guide us. All of this I've heard before. But something about sitting with this group of women, not meditating in silence, but sharing experiences in a guided, focused way was extremely calming. I was even more surprised to find that, five days later, the calming effect has remained. I've made a huge effort to use a very calm voice with my kids. Especially when they are stressed. The more they rev UP, the more I calm DOWN. I get calmer and quieter, as they rev up into hysteria. And it works! I have noticed a strong shift in their own ability to de-escalate. This morning, the car stalled, we were late to doctor appointment, I had to drive my husband to work, my six year old commented "Why is everyone in a rush? This is making me UNCOMFORTABLE!" as she started to rev up. BRAVA to her for articulating her feelings. I replied, "No we are not in a rush and you are right, I will caaaaaaalm down. Let's all calm down." I slowed down and she calmed down. It was amazing to see this effect in action!

Thanksgiving and Giving Thanks

Today we had Petite and Bebe's first real Thanksgiving (since we have been living in Europe for their lives up till now). They didn't quite get the whole historical precedence (Petite is mostly anxious that the Pilgrims' "President send them on a long journey and many people died"). Paternal grandma had us all go around the table and say what we are thankful for. Three year old Bebe says she is thankful for her sister (OK, my heart was truly melting). After dinner, when they should both be completely melting down from an exhausting day, Petite surprises me beyond belief. She goes into her room and CLEANS UP EVERYTHING (this has never ever happened before), organizing her toys and categorizing them and then proceeding to fold all of her little sister's clothes. This is the the kid who steps out of her clothes and usually just leaves them on the floor. After congratulating her and telling her how proud I am of this behavior, I ask what made her do this. She says "Thanksgiving is a holiday when we give thanks. So I cleaned up." Honestly, every time I think I have a little clue as to what makes my kids tick, they do something totally baffling and I am awestruck.

Girls

6 year old Petite has friend over for playdate. "Let's pretend we are sisters at a dance and all the boys are surrounding us" "OK pretend he kissed you and now you're dead but then you're alive" "I got kissed!" "Me too!" 3 year old Bebe is crawling around on floor pretending to be a puppy dog. Petite twirling around the room "the boys are all trying to dance with me" YEE GADS!!!! This is age SIX? What the hell am I in for in 10 years????

Gluey mom

Took bebe to kid science museum this morning. She isn't interested in any activites but a number of her camp counaelors work there. She's mostly interested in following them around and chatting. Basically, we could just schedule a coffee date. Did manage to get her mildly interested in glue project - Only bc favorite counselor was sitting at that table. Now I just dropped kids at Grandm'sa house just in time to head off to meetig only to discover glue on front on new sweater At least I didn't wear the cashmere one Damn Didn't bring change of clothes Desperately try and rinse glue off sweater front Resulting in large water stain replacing glue stain Lovely impression I'll make How do other moms seem least drift between preschool paint and glue activity and professional "I have it all together" work life?

SO happy to be in California right now. Shlepped the girls to Tahoe

for the weekend. Because MAMA has been dying to get to the Sierras (a huge pull for me to move back to CA). Previous weekends/trips "en famille" have not fared so well (read: SUCKED!) - including taking them "off the beaten track" in Morocco, to a fabulous luxury hotel in Sorrento that hubbie was shooting. Hotel room bigger than our entire apartment which turned out to be much needed since it RAINED FOR A WEEK - and Mama was solo entertaining two tykes - one of whom insisted on only eating hot dogs (in Southern Italy? Not so easy to find). So, trepidatiously, we embarked on this weekend, discount hotel room since very "off" season at ski resort. Turned out to be GORGEOUS foliage (=happy Mama) and even though no hiking (not with these two), we managed to put them on the back of bikes and take lovely ride through fall foliage (bribing them with chocolate along the route). A tantrum free (almost) weekend (empty hotel helps - no fear of waking paying guests). Feel we might be back in the game!

Settling in

Two weeks into Bebe's new school and things feel almost settled. Found out that the heater in the floor IS in fact legal and up to code. Amazing since in order to heat the place, the metal grate on the floor will heat up to burning hot temperature, enough to severely burn feet - big or little. Of course there is no way I will use it as it is place directly outside the girls' room. Can't believe this is up to code. Jeez. washer and dryer finally arrived after two weeks and, I kid you not, no less than 10 phone calls and 15 emails which arrived daily, each one confirming a different delivery date and time. Are we actually IN the USA? Land of "convenience"? Seriously, it was more "convenient" to take Bebe and trek across town to DARTY in Paris, place our order and wait for the delivery.

Fairy WIngs

Tonight while falling asleep, Bebe announced, completely matter of factly, "Mama I don't want to do the Olympics in swimming or gymnastics because I am wishing for fairy wings and then I will be able to fly"